What is the purpose of my life?


If you struggle to understand your purpose or why you are here, you’re in good company.  This article was composed to help you answer, ‘what is the purpose of my life?’

My keyword research software tells me that over 7,900 people ask Google every single month, ‘What is the purpose of life’, while over 12,000 people search, ‘What is the meaning of life?’. Every month. These numbers show just how much despondency flourishes in today’s world; and due to our ways of life, it’s understandable. Emotional illnesses like depression and anxiety are in pandemic proportion.

The environmental desperation we see, materialism, and extremes between the rich 1% and the working poor, leave all of us wondering, “Will my children and grandchildren live fulfilling lives? will they even have a world to grow up in? Will they grow up feeling as despondent as I am feeling right now?” These are the questions that haunt people.

Hopefully this article reminds us to do what we can do, appreciate what we have, go for what we want, and simply get the most out of life.


Being the best at…

People dream about being #1. We idolize the best singers, the best athletes, the richest business owners, and the most beautiful actors.

The ‘hard-knocks’ background stories of competitors in ‘Got Talent’ competitions remind the world that normal people can be champions, it’s about hope. We wish the best for someone, being the one in millions, congratulate them for winning the lottery. We strive to try to cheer these people on… to find these people inspiring; to live vicariously, wishing we were them, because they won, even though we didn’t.

The problem with putting hopes in the lottery is that it seems to be a literal admission and reminder that we aren’t happy with life as it stands. We pray to get what we want without work; and because we are depressed, we don’t bother working for it. We’ve given up trying; except to buy that lottery ticket.


Optimism vs. Pessimism.

I don’t buy lottery tickets. Not because I don’t believe i have as much chance as anyone else, but because the thought of a sudden huge windfall that I did not earn, simply doesn’t motivate me, or even appeal to me for that matter.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have the money to buy a house of my own, a car, to complete and win in a singing competition, to not worry about being hungry.

At the far left of the spectrum, unbalanced pessimists believe you have no chance so why have hope for anything you wish for? At the far right of the spectrum, unbalanced optimists set themselves up for humiliation, because they try too hard to win at long shots, and often fail.

Allow me to share my views on this: I see beauty in the bitter-sweetness of life; the losses and the triumphs, the lows and the highs. Don’t get me wrong, I’d enjoy wealth, but if I didn’t earn it, I would worry more about losing it. I would also have not earned respect from my network. There is reason for my journey. So I will continue working hard on increasing knowledge of not only wealth but health and how to make more of a difference in the lives of other people, reminding myself that money is not the meaning of life. Achieving financial freedom will not end of my journey, or even be the highlight of my life. Money is no more than a tool. Making it the reason for my journey will result in me losing my motivation, because it’s simply not worth living for.

This is my kind of realism.


Nothing is permanent.

What comes, passes. The nature of our collective reality on this earth is that all things pass and are lost to time. Riches come and go, fame comes and goes, health comes and goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. High achievers are not necessarily destined for happiness.

If you rely on reaching that peak for your happiness, you will be hit hard afterward. When you reach that metaphorical peak, the view is grand… but where do you go from there? The only way is down. Do you want to survive another valley? What if you were to lose everything you worked for?

Material wealth amplifies what we are. If we are already happy before we become rich, money increases our happiness. If we are miserable before money, more money will make us more miserable. Think about it… if we distrust people before we become rich, imagine if you do become rich… you will be constantly suspicious not knowing who your real friends are… there is always another valley to face.

We must try to learn from the past, but not dwell there. Plan for the future, but don’t dwell there either. Wherever you go, there you are.

Don’t worry about what bad may come, because it will pass. Don’t exalt in what good comes, because you are bound to lose it. Appreciate what you have, take care of it, and teach others to take care as well.


 

What lifts you?

True happiness can be taught, to those who care to listen. It is something we do. It has nothing to do with money.

Money is not security. Money can not bring someone you love back from death, or cure a terminal illness. The best security for a family is spiritual wealth. To provide spiritual wealth for one’s family means to equip them to survive, even thrive, in spite of any loss.

The ability to deal with change, the thirst for knowledge, a strong work ethic, resiliency, willingness to give help, willingness to accept help, network building skills… these are good examples of spiritual wealth.

I think the point of life is to learn how to be happy with your life in despite your level of accumulation of have material wealth.


But this post was about purpose! What is my purpose?

The previous parts of this article discuss the necessary background to better understand our purpose.

Straightly put, I believe the purpose of anyone’s life is learning to spend spiritual wealth well.

To earn and to increase:

  • A heart full of love for yourself and others.
  • Your appreciation of life through the eyes of others.
  • Evidence that you shared and used your knowledge.
  • The collective wealth of the world around you.
  • A network of appreciative hearts with fond memories of you.

The world is better for having you in it. If you do these things, your life has purpose.

The love you share with others, the knowledge of whether you left the world better or worse than you found it; these things you carry with you after you die, the same you leave behind.

Hope this helps,

Elaine Nicol


“We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths;

In feelings, not in figures on a dial.

We should count time by heart-throbs. He most lives

Who thinks most—feels the noblest—acts the best.”

~ Philip James Bailey, Festus, 1839


 “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” ~ Cherokee proverb


 Powerfully inspiring books by a man driven to teach genius and personal mastery: Robin Sharma.

Access his podcasts and online courses here.


Another recommended book:


Affiliate Disclosure: The links in this post may be “affiliate links.” This means if you buy something through the link, I receive an affiliate commission, at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products or services I believe will add value to my readers. Read full affiliate disclosure here.


How to find peace of mind


One of the most important things to learn for how to deal with depression or anxiety is how to find peace of the mind.

Peace of mind is achieved though patience, flexibility, forgiveness, and dealing with change positively. Learning and implementing what you learn from this article will help you heal from a troubled mind.


Accept change, make changes

Anyone who has been to A.A. knows the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Although I am not a religious person; I still love this prayer.

Whatever your religious or spiritual views, serenity and courage can be found within.

Each of us has spiritual place within, or above, themselves, where wisdom above conventional thought can be accessed. This “Higher intelligence”, which some would call God, or Spirit, or ‘That which connects all things’, is accessed in a state of serenity, and can be felt, tangibly.

Serenity is accessed by utilizing enough patience to listen to our thoughts and feelings, and with wisdom, to observe unobjectively, and let go of that which is not within our power.

Courage to act with wisdom is accessed by listening to all inputs, and acting in a productive and positive way which helps you recover, to a greater good that helps others as well.


Allow to continue that which you have no ability to change, so let go of any resentment that afflicts you. This is serenity.

Change that which afflicts harm to you or others, emotional, spiritual, or physical, with every resource you have within. This is courage.

Listen to the higher thoughts that can only be accessed in silence. This is wisdom.


Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.

Perhaps you feel that you have been robbed of peace in your life. I will tell you now that that is hogwash, as peace can be found in even the most terrible circumstances. It is within your control.

Peace is a mindset. It is the ability to calm yourself and those around you in a non-violent way.

When you blame others for how you feel, you are saying, simply, that your thoughts and feelings are not your own. You are saying they have more power over your thoughts and impulses than you do.

Wisdom says otherwise.


Forgive yourself, forgive others.

Every single living being on this earth is living a life from their own perspective, seeing the world through their own eyes, feeling things with their own hands, and carrying their own lessons and experiences.

The intentions of others can be mysterious… how do you get into someone else’s mind? The fact is, you cannot truly know someone unless you have been where they have been, what lessons they have learned, and what is important to them.

When someone else hurts you, they are often acting out of hurt themselves, and in my opinion, the world would be made better by healing and grace, as opposed affixing blame or hurting them back as a knee-jerk reaction.

Why be angry at people who hurt you, when the solution to your hurt is within your power? Basically if you allow yourself to continue hurting, then no longer are they hurting you, but you are hurting yourself. How is that healthy?

You have the power within to release hurtful feelings like anger, by practicing the serenity, courage, and wisdom that I discussed earlier. Let go of what you cannot change. Change what you can. Know the difference.


Use a healthy outlet for outstanding anger or frustrations.

I understand that forgiving yourself and forgiving others sounds simplistic and is sometimes easier said than done.

Anger is a very real experience, and there are dangers of suppressing it. Suppressed anger is widely accepted to be a cause of anxiety and depression, increased chance of heart disease, greater risk of stroke, and a weakened immune system.

So, it is important to release anger; but how do you release it productively??

In the larger picture, taking anger out on others causes more issues than it solves. When troubled by anger and finding peace within seems elusive, finding a different physical outlet or a demonstration of your emotional frustrations can help you recover gracefully.

Here are some ideas for ways to positively work out pent-up anger, rage, resentment, or frustration:

  • Watch funny videos, laugh out loud, write bad jokes.
  • Walk, run, lift weights, yoga, Tai chi, Kung Fu, kickboxing, bowling, golf, or participate in group sports.
  • Focus on slow breathing techniques.
  • Practice relaxing muscles groups progressively.
  • Allow your thoughts, feelings, and sensations to come and pass. Simply observe.
  • Talk it out with a therapist or counselor.
  • Relax in hot bath.
  • Play with a stress-relief toy.
  • Listen to soothing music.
  • Do something nice for yourself (i.e. go to the spa, buy yourself a gift, go to a movie).
  • Create an artistic expression of your state of mind.
  • Creatively write to express your thoughts and feelings.

This list is non-exclusive, as I’m sure there are plenty of great solutions out there for making yourself feel better in productive ways.

Please share your ideas and help others by leaving a comment at the bottom of this post!


Adopting the attributes of flexibility and resilience.

Recovering from a damaged mind/spirit is difficult if you refuse to cultivate flexibility and resilience in your life.

These are learned attributes, achieved by opening your mind to new potential, and getting back up every single time you are knocked down.

As you always have. Keep on keeping on!

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” ~ Napoleon Hill

So CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE that:

You can feel better about your life, mind, and heart.

Your light can shine brightly to help guide others.

You are a valuable contributor to this world.

You make the world more beautiful just by existing!

Written with love,

~ Elaine


Recommended books:


Affiliate Disclosure: The links in this post are “affiliate links.” This means if you buy something through the link, I receive an affiliate commission, at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products or services I believe will add value to my readers. Read full affiliate disclosure here.