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How to find peace of mind

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One of the most important things to learn for how to deal with depression or anxiety is how to find peace of the mind.

Peace of mind is achieved though patience, flexibility, forgiveness, and dealing with change positively. Learning and implementing what you learn from this article will help you heal from a troubled mind.


Accept change, make changes

Anyone who has been to A.A. knows the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Although I am not a religious person; I still love this prayer.

Whatever your religious or spiritual views, serenity and courage can be found within.

Each of us has spiritual place within, or above, themselves, where wisdom above conventional thought can be accessed. This “Higher intelligence”, which some would call God, or Spirit, or ‘That which connects all things’, is accessed in a state of serenity, and can be felt, tangibly.

Serenity is accessed by utilizing enough patience to listen to our thoughts and feelings, and with wisdom, to observe unobjectively, and let go of that which is not within our power.

Courage to act with wisdom is accessed by listening to all inputs, and acting in a productive and positive way which helps you recover, to a greater good that helps others as well.


Allow to continue that which you have no ability to change, so let go of any resentment that afflicts you. This is serenity.

Change that which afflicts harm to you or others, emotional, spiritual, or physical, with every resource you have within. This is courage.

Listen to the higher thoughts that can only be accessed in silence. This is wisdom.


Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.

Perhaps you feel that you have been robbed of peace in your life. I will tell you now that that is hogwash, as peace can be found in even the most terrible circumstances. It is within your control.

Peace is a mindset. It is the ability to calm yourself and those around you in a non-violent way.

When you blame others for how you feel, you are saying, simply, that your thoughts and feelings are not your own. You are saying they have more power over your thoughts and impulses than you do.

Wisdom says otherwise.


Forgive yourself, forgive others.

Every single living being on this earth is living a life from their own perspective, seeing the world through their own eyes, feeling things with their own hands, and carrying their own lessons and experiences.

The intentions of others can be mysterious… how do you get into someone else’s mind? The fact is, you cannot truly know someone unless you have been where they have been, what lessons they have learned, and what is important to them.

When someone else hurts you, they are often acting out of hurt themselves, and in my opinion, the world would be made better by healing and grace, as opposed affixing blame or hurting them back as a knee-jerk reaction.

Why be angry at people who hurt you, when the solution to your hurt is within your power? Basically if you allow yourself to continue hurting, then no longer are they hurting you, but you are hurting yourself. How is that healthy?

You have the power within to release hurtful feelings like anger, by practicing the serenity, courage, and wisdom that I discussed earlier. Let go of what you cannot change. Change what you can. Know the difference.


Use a healthy outlet for outstanding anger or frustrations.

I understand that forgiving yourself and forgiving others sounds simplistic and is sometimes easier said than done.

Anger is a very real experience, and there are dangers of suppressing it. Suppressed anger is widely accepted to be a cause of anxiety and depression, increased chance of heart disease, greater risk of stroke, and a weakened immune system.

So, it is important to release anger; but how do you release it productively??

In the larger picture, taking anger out on others causes more issues than it solves. When troubled by anger and finding peace within seems elusive, finding a different physical outlet or a demonstration of your emotional frustrations can help you recover gracefully.

Here are some ideas for ways to positively work out pent-up anger, rage, resentment, or frustration:

  • Watch funny videos, laugh out loud, write bad jokes.
  • Walk, run, lift weights, yoga, Tai chi, Kung Fu, kickboxing, bowling, golf, or participate in group sports.
  • Focus on slow breathing techniques.
  • Practice relaxing muscles groups progressively.
  • Allow your thoughts, feelings, and sensations to come and pass. Simply observe.
  • Talk it out with a therapist or counselor.
  • Relax in hot bath.
  • Play with a stress-relief toy.
  • Listen to soothing music.
  • Do something nice for yourself (i.e. go to the spa, buy yourself a gift, go to a movie).
  • Create an artistic expression of your state of mind.
  • Creatively write to express your thoughts and feelings.

This list is non-exclusive, as I’m sure there are plenty of great solutions out there for making yourself feel better in productive ways.

Please share your ideas and help others by leaving a comment at the bottom of this post!


squirrel in winter

Adopting the attributes of flexibility and resilience.

Recovering from a damaged mind/spirit is difficult if you refuse to cultivate flexibility and resilience in your life.

These are learned attributes, achieved by opening your mind to new potential, and getting back up every single time you are knocked down.

As you always have. Keep on keeping on!

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” ~ Napoleon Hill

So CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE that:

You can feel better about your life, mind, and heart.

Your light can shine brightly to help guide others.

You are a valuable contributor to this world.

You make the world more beautiful just by existing!

 

kitten in tree
Written with love,

~ Elaine


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26 thoughts on “How to find peace of mind”

  1. Hello Elaine. Thank you for sharing this life changing post on how to find peace of mind. For me, I think peace is one of the greatest gift we can have individually and generally as well. It’s always a good feeling to see and know that all is well. That brings peace of mind. Peace of mind can be achieved using this article as a guide. I personally find forgiveness as one of the amazing paths to peace of mind. Really helpful article.

    Regards!

    Reply
  2. That forgiveness, even unasked and underserved, is paramount to self-healing is a lesson that many of us take far too long to learn. Some crimes against our bodies and emotions are so severe that the very idea of forgiving the perpetrator is unthinkable – we feel it empowers the person/people to believe their behavior is/was acceptable. There is a difference between forgiving someone and accepting that person’s behavior that is extremely difficult for someone who has been hurt deeply. For this victim to find peace in prayer, meditation, and pleasant activities is highly important. Forgiveness can take years and even a lifetime, but embracing the freedom we have from the traumatic situation is an important step.

    It goes without saying, but as we get older we learn that the most difficult person to forgive is our own self. Keeping oneself aware of personal behavior and the possible repercussions of what we’re doing is an ongoing exercise in patience and self-control.

    Your article is a great resource for someone learning to cope with the past and find hope in the present. I know you said you’re not a religious person, but God bless you for being helpful and compassionate.

    Reply
  3. Hey thank you so much for the awesome post!  I really enjoyed this post because it goes right up my ally, in that it deals with psychology and behavior.  I really like your section on anger the most because it is something that many people do not deal with effectively.  Most people will not let someone know when they are mad.  This leads to resentment if it is not dealt with productively, and resentment can lead to a host of other issues.  I feel talking it out is one of the most healthy ways to do this honestly.

    Reply
    • For sure, very relevant feedback. Unreleased anger and the resulting resentment are huge contributors to a mind that is at war with itself, causing all kinds of stress and conflict. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  4. Hi Elaine … I am very grateful for your writing. To be honest, I have never felt peace of mind. Because I feel, my head is always filled with negative things because of many things (financial problems, marriage problems, family problems and many more). However, because of your writing, I will try to take steps in confronting all this and try to calm my mind. Because whenever I have single negative thought, that thought can branch into many other thoughts.
    By the way, do you have any recommendation book that I can read too?

    Reply
    • Here’s a cute read you might be able to find in your library: 

      “Who Moved My Cheese?” – by Spencer Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard. “Who Moved My Cheese?” was an important one in shifting my mindset and it was fun to read.

      another good one:  “Mindfulness is better than chocolate: a practical guide to enhanced focus and lasting happiness in a world of distractions” – David Michie. 

      Warmest regards, ~ Elaine

      Reply
  5. Thanks so much for sharing a good article to read to know more about how to find peace of mind.

    Christmas is over and little by little we all come back to our regular life, for some this might be easy and life is quiet and easy, for some other people that is not the case.

    Lately if you listen to the news, the world is not as peaceful as we all wish it could be for everyone living on this planet, but the important thing is to find peace in our minds and inside of each one of us.

    As we learn to stay in this state, we can live a better life, I really like your article and the list of things to do when I feel anger or I notice I’m not living a peaceful moment in my life.

    Your list is a good list of things to keep in mind or in a notebook to read again when it’s needed. 

    Reply
    • I know I’ll be coming back to it! lol Sometimes I can’t even remember my own writing so it is good reading for me too! This page is bookmarked, thanks for the suggestion 🙂 ~ Elaine

      Reply
  6. Everything comes down to love. If you’re capable of loving yourself and others, then you’ll be able to forgive, let go and stay in present time. Most anxiety comes from uncertainty and the wrong believe of life being a repetitive history played at the rhythm of our deepest fears.

    We’re caring too much about what’s about to come and carrying to many consequences of our past. 

    Start by loving minimally, it naturally will lead you to love more and more, until becoming love yourself. In the process, everything fall into it’s best place. 

    Reply
    • Wise words, thank you for sharing here, I appreciate your contribution. I like what you say about caring too much about the future and carrying too many of the results of our past. Appreciate where you are right now, right now you are here, so right here and now is where your thoughts and actions matter. The future is uncertain, if you let go of the anxiety it becomes adventure! I never worry about the future. Life is the grandest adventure, where will my actions today take me tomorrow? Letting go of our past regrets frees us to enjoy the moment. Warmest blessings! ~ Elaine

      Reply
  7. Thanks very much Elaine for this great and encouraging article about how to find peace of mind, it has been an enjoyable and interesting article from its start to its end, because you have opened up my mind on how to get myself peace and by the information you have provided, am soon changing my life by finding myself peace. Thanks very much for this article.

    Reply
    • Wow I love that my ideas help you, that is the goal of my website. I’m glad for your feedback. You are most welcome, I hope you come back to read again and subscribe to my other articles. Blessings, ~ Elaine

      Reply
  8. I really appreciate and respect what you’ve written here. A lot of it hits home very closely with me.

    Anger, fear, depression, and anxiety are a several-times-a-day hurdle for me to get over. And to be honest, a lot of the time I fall prey to these feelings and respond poorly.

    I’m going to try more of what you recommend in this article and try to get myself in a better headspace. Is there anything you suggest specifically for someone who fears people (social anxiety) a lot and really wants to get better? I feel it would help me very much.

    Thank you for this wonderful piece, I wish you all the best Elaine.

    Reply
    • Thanks Tyson. I have to admit myself that social anxiety is something that I struggle with too. There seem to be so many fake people out there… but really they are trying to get through life just like you, with their own mental and emotional issues. It is best to find your value by yourself and not because of the opinions of others… and be friend you need, to yourself. Socialization is very important, and WA is good for this very reason, but still important to meet with people regularly, for life balance. For example… if you have a woman at home who meets most of your needs, it can be a very bad thing to expect her to be your everything, people need friends and acquaintances. 

      I’ve joined the Manitoba Schizophrenia Society in that has group meetings in my hometown for an hour once every two weeks. Something like that.. a sharing group… is very healthy. For years I met with a community mental health worker who met me for coffee every couple of weeks… she encouraged me to share my emotional state and gave feedback and help for goal-setting and employment resources like training. I found that extremely helpful… and miss the socialization I used to get from that… but she felt she was more needed elsewhere as I was really doing so well: stable, safe, and able to self-advocate if I needed any help.

      Community mental health services, even a crisis stabilization unit, or a crisis line, are what I most suggest at this time for you. They can help you voice your fears, meet your most urgent socialization needs, and perhaps help you get onto an anti-depressant medication, if your mind is fighting a chemical imbalance it could really change your life.

      Keep on keeping on, you’ll get through. ~ Elaine

      Reply
  9. Thank you for sharing this, it is much needed today as I am having a rough day. The serenity prayer is vital in my opinion, even though I forget it sometimes when it would really help out! I agree that forgiving others is the key to happiness, even if it is very difficult to do sometimes. I am still working on that one! Have a great day!

    Reply
  10. Hello there, thanks for putting out this article it has amazing content that I know would be of great help to the public as it has been of help to me.i must with the beginning of this new year has marked the beginning of stress and and anxiety to many and this tips you have given would really help us find rest of mind

    Reply
    • Fiji, hi. Let me say worrying about stress and anxiety is counterproductive… life has ups and downs, roll with it, bend with the wind, just get right back up, you can do it, have faith in yourself. Worry about anything causes stress… so when you feel worry starting? Stop! Breathe, still your mind. It will pass. Then carry on about your day. Peace. ~ Elaine

      Reply
  11. Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can
    and Wisdom to know the difference. It is also my favorite prayer. In 2016, I had a stroke so I was very angry. After I recovered, and since then, I am much calmer. When someone injures me, I say Our Father in thought. For relaxation I take a bath in the Jacuzzi. I have a site where I write about cats. They make the world more beautiful just because it exists. I can say this because I have loved and grown them for over 34 years. And they can bring peace of mind.

    Reply
    • I love cats too. Their cuteness and their funny antics make life so much more fun. They can also be such a wonderful source of love and emotional support if you treat them right. When I lived alone in a city away from my family, I was so lonely. Then an acquaintance moved away needing to get rid of her 2 cats… I swear they saved my life. A person needs someone to love, a kity can provide that necessary outlet.

      Difficulties can be predicted, they are part of life. If you have an illness, some specific difficulties are more predictable. Being ready to deal with them like knowing you will say Our Father or have a bath to relax is exactly what a person needs to recover. Preparation, a plan, a way to peace of mind. Thank you for sharing. ~ Elaine

      Reply
  12. Thank you very much for this inspiring post! You’ve given me some ways to ease my mind. Usually, I love to play fun games, checking some memes and cat videos in social media, or just watching comedies. Relaxation in bath is a good idea, I love having some thoughts when I took a bath. Thanks for the inspiration.

    Reply
    • Wonderful ideas! I also like to boil a tea when I start feeling really depressed, basically, just treat myself gently. It is comforting. Singing in the bath helps too lol. Thanks! ~ Elaine

      Reply
  13. Hey, Your guide on peace of mind is very useful for me. I enjoy a lot while reading your article. I understand peace of mind can be achieved though patience, flexibility, forgiveness, and dealing with changes positively. We must ready to Accept change, make changes in our life. Every single living being on this earth is living a life from their own perspective. We will work with peace. Your guide on peace is awesome. 

    Reply

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