Coping Ideas For Depression and Loneliness

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Depression is made worse by loneliness, delivering a double-low-blow to someone who feels hurting and isolated. Here I will share with you effective coping skills for depression, and loneliness.

The ideas in this article have successfully helped me feel better after being struck by depressive thoughts.


Who am I to give advice on depression?

After developing a mental illness at age 23 at the onset of my pregnancy, I lost my CDL driver’s license and professional career as a commercial truck driver. Soon after my husband left me, and lost custody of my only child. The medication I require to maintain sanity causes weight gain, and over just a few years I gained over 200 pounds. I lived alone for over 10 years. For many of those years, I wasn’t even allowed have a cat because of tenancy rules.

I felt abandoned, despondent, very low, and desperately lonely.

Yes, I know depression well. She is a dear old friend.

I’ve learned how to deal with her successfully, and am usually now a pretty happy person. When I feel down, I know it’s not permanent, and I’ll be okay. I follow certain strategies to get myself back on track.

I’m here to share my strategies for finding joy in everyday life. Getting out of bed is a choice I make daily.

Peace and hopefulness are such better places in which to abide.


self careBe patient with yourself.

Getting angry at yourself for having a nasty thought about yourself – simply compounds emotional anguish. Give yourself permission to think dark thoughts as long as you don’t stay there. Practice bringing yourself back to more helpful thoughts.

Be mindful of your thoughts. Read books on mindfulness, positive mindset, good news stories, success, and learning in any market you are interested in can help you have a higher number of happy and hopeful thoughts that you can grab on to and use for the better.

Watch videos about it on YouTube. Practicing mindfulness will help you to accept your negative feelings and let them pass. It’s okay to slip up. You move on.

Hypnotherapy is helpful when trying to improve your outlook, particularly sessions on positive mindset, mindfulness, success, or any others that interest you. You can best listen to these audios in private, at rest. Binaural beats can also be helpful in bringing positive change to your mindset.

Never beat yourself up over any failure. Appreciate the experience, and treasure the lesson.

Failure is the best teacher ever!


self-careWhere you go, there you are.

Most people have a need to feel cared about… but would you be speaking truth if you said no one cares about you? In fact, having that worry itself proves that you care about yourself. The fact that you even found this web page proves that you really do care about yourself. Why not say it?

Self-care goes beyond taking care of your physical body. You need to let yourself know that you care.

It feels good when someone makes you your favorite tea, soup, or comfort food. Why not treat yourself?

Have you ever winked at yourself in the mirror? I recommend trying it today. Even better, do it with a smile!

The first time, this may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. It gets easier though. Look at yourself in the mirror, and while looking at yourself, tell yourself, out loud, the answers that you write in the following section…


comfort

What would you say to a friend who felt really low?

Write this question down, and answer it in writing.

“If someone you love is feeling depressed, sad, lonely, or suicidal, what would you say, and do, to encourage them?”

You might write, I care about you. Let me check on you every day, to see how you are doing.

You could say to your friend, I value you,” or My world is better because you are in it.

You’d say these things to someone you love. Why can’t you say them yourself?

The truth is, you can say these things to yourself.

Would you hold a hurting friend’s hand and give a consoling squeeze?

This’ll sound weird to you, and no one else will tell you this, but you can hold your own hand. I was very surprised when I figured this out, it’s actually really calming and comforting. You have two hands for this reason. Hey, why not?


coping with depression

Distract yourself. Do anything else.

Negative thoughts stuck in a rut that you can’t pull yourself out of?

Been told by family that you’ve been arguing in circles?

Do not underestimate the power of a fidget spinner!

Try one of these:

  • Play a video game.
  • Watch a TV show.
  • Reading a magazine.
  • Read a newspaper.
  • Start cleaning.
  • Have a cold shower.
  • Write down your thoughts.
  • Do some research.
  • Go fishing.

The list is inexhaustible. Do something you enjoy!

Here’s a great idea:


Let the sun shine on you!


strategies for dealing with depression

 

Exposure to sunlight releases chemicals in our bodies that makes us instantly feel better. From sunlight, we get increased levels of Serotonin, an excellent contributor to positive mental health.

It may be hard to get out of bed and get dressed, but do it anyhow. Get up, wash up, get dressed, and weather permitting, step outside, even when you don’t feel like it.

There is nothing more refreshing than fresh air while appreciating the beauty of nature.

So go outside. Look up. Feel the warm sensations of the sun lighting you up. Watch the sunrise. Talk to the wildlife. The crow might look at you like you are crazy, but the squirrel might strike up a conversation with you!

feel good

A squirrel looking back at you, chattering his fluffy tail off, is adorably cute.

Chatter back at him, and he’ll get in an argument with you! Look up, picture it!

I dare you not to smile!


Branch out to make friends.

Stop wondering why no one is calling you.

Join reading groups, sharing groups, walking groups, Toastmasters, groups with shared interests from Meetup.com, volunteer to help others, take on new jobs. These are all great ways of socializing.

Keep going, become familiar there. You might even make a new friend or two, and that is worth celebrating!

Check in with your friends to see how they are doing. They’ll appreciate it and do the same for you.

Do not allow all your happiness to rely on the actions of others.

Practice encouraging yourself using the above methods.


help for depression

Don’t feel ashamed to ask for professional help.

Suffering social anxiety due to depression can cause you to feel paralyzed over social matters. It’s okay to ask for help.

Do people you know think getting help is not acceptable? Let that be their problem, not yours.

Call your local mental health or abuse crisis line. They exist for good reasons, and the counselors are glad to just be there for you, when you need someone to talk to.

You can use these help lines to self-refer yourself to a crisis stabilization unit (CSU) if you need more support than you can manage on your own.

The professionals at a CSU will help you set goals, plan strategies for dealing with challenges, and connect you to counselors and other community services, which can be used as excuses to socialize with positive people.

Who cares if they are paid to listen. They help!


Conclusion.

You are valuable. You are worthy of kindness. Treat yourself right. Nurture your self-love.

Treasure every moment in your life, and there are always more joyful times to come.

Each new day challenges you to get out of bed, make it worth it. Every day is a new adventure.

Life has ups and downs, and that’s awesome.

The amazing variety of sensations, interactions, ideas, colors, views, smells, flavors, and emotions that happen every-single-day are the little things to appreciate that make life worth living.



There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh.


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26 thoughts on “Coping Ideas For Depression and Loneliness”

  1. The most amazing thing you can do for yourself when you have depression is to keep occupied and to have fun instead of dwelling on what is happening. It can be difficult but I use video games and trying to get good deals on them to stay level headed. What activity do you do that enables you to keep your mood higher than it normally would be?

    Reply
    • Plain and simple answer: LEARNING. Being curious about things and gaining knowledge helps give me new ideas, new plans of action, and hope for a better future.

      Hard to feel depressed when you are taking actions to become a better person. Don’t get me wrong, I still slip sometimes and get really down. Then I give myself a slap and say WAKE UP. Life is not that bad. Find other things to think about.

      The occasional time I really derail and get negative. Then my roommate throws a fidget spinner at me. lol.

      Reply
  2. Thank you for this post, Elaine. You wrote down incredible advice for coping with depression and loneliness. I personally practice what you wrote, so I truly agree with you that it helps when we are feeling down and just want to escape from our own life. Exercise of asking myself what would I say to my friend, if I would know she is feeling the way I feel, helps me every time. And then I go and actually reach out. 

    I love the photos at the end, monkey put a smile on my face, so thank you for brightening my day! 🙂 

    Reply
    • You have no idea how much happiness you just gave me by sharing your comment about the monkey smile LOL! The whole point of this post is to cheer people up. Glad it worked for you! 😀  Elaine

      Reply
  3. When I started reading from the beginning of your article, I could tell that you’ve gone through a lot and here you are educating and teaching people how to deal with depression. This shows how strong you are.

    Mindfulness and having a positive mindset is something really to consider. We can absolutely calm or reduce depression when engaging in things like watching videos on mindfulness, reading books on success stories and so forth. This tends to uplift our spirit and starts relieving us from depression.

    We are valuable and special people so we shouldn’t let life scenario to bring us down. When we have goals it makes us have this sense of focus and to be free from depression when we start working towards it. Isolation will not be the way out.

    Reply
    • All my life I’ve had empathetic tendencies, when I was young I was too worried about what people thought of me, I was so introverted and scared of rejection, and rejected a lot I was. Personally, now, as hard as it was as a young teenager, I am grateful for the experience because I have learned that my own opinion of myself is valuable, I have myself as a friend. It reminds me how far I have come and how much I have grown in my journey. Now I cannot help but worry about others who have gone through the pain I went through. I can’t help but reach out online, I need to help people realize their own worth, not to make myself feel better, but because I truly want them to feel better. Thanks for the comment. Hugs, Elaine

      Reply
  4. Hi,

    Thank you for an amazing and very informative read. The fact you are writing this from personal experience is very courageous and real to me the authenticity of emotions and authority of how to negate the effects of loneliness and depression are really exemplary and most valuable to a person whom is experiencing this to not feel alone that there are others who have experienced the same thoughts and emotions and took steps to resolve the issues by taking the necessary steps to relieve the effects is tremendously powerful. You are literally in my view saving the lives of countless people and is very admirable.

    I have just written an article on the flow of movement regarding fluidity and agility which requires mind health and control. I could therefore understand many of the very interesting methods to get someone out of a mental rut which is what I equate in layman terms with the state of loneliness and depression. The coping strategies you offer are really not that difficult to do that include for example joining activities where you are likely to meeting people enjoy the activities and have a bit of fun to just simply stepping out into the sunshine. You do not neglect to advise that sometimes the help of professionally trained people in this field may be required to place someone on the path to better understanding themselves better and loving themselves to take better care in doing so for their well being does not require another to do so although another doing so is very helpful too. Over all a very useful and excellent piece with much effort expended to lay out very competently and considerately.

    Rami.

    Reply
    • Rami! I tried to find your blog through your Gravatar profile, you need to work on that! I’d love to read your blog post and comment on it.

      Thank you so much, your encouragement is priceless to me, I’ve always been one who thrives on positive reinforcement and when I don’t get it from friends and family it sometimes gets me down. This Wealthy Affiliate community of bloggers is amazing, the people here have been a real, regular source of encouragement to me.

      I try hard. It feels good to be recognized for it. Thank you so much. God Bless. Elaine

      Reply
  5. wow I love your article! I myself have experienced these dark times. Your article was a refreshing read and I have found that it makes a lot of sense a few listed pointers are things I have tried and I can confirm they do work.

    Reply
    • Thanks Russ, your input is appreciated. Yeah I share my experience and lessons I have learned here. I have to say blogging about my thoughts and getting feedback through the comments has been very encouraging to me, I love the positive reinforcement I receive. I’ll keep doing my best, I’ll check out your blog as well. Blogger communities are helpful in themselves for fighting loneliness, I appreciate you ~ Elaine

      Reply
  6. Hi Elaine! As someone who also struggles with depressive tendencies, it’s always valuable to read other perspectives. My favorite thing to do is actually to go on long walks, preferably in nature.

    I’ve learned with age that mood, and “happiness”, differ greatly in people. Realizing that it’s ok to not always be happy has been incredibly valuable for me anyway. I strive for meaning and connection, in the areas of life that matter to me, and no longer worry too much about finding happiness, or being happy. I’m much happier that way, heh 🙂

    When I was younger I was always analyzing and overthinking everything. Trying to “solve” my depression through thinking my way out of it. Now I just accept the low as part of who I am. Being from Scandinavia helps too I think, as we are quite comfortable with melancholy up here. It’s part of the cultural landscape in a way. It’s not seen as that much of a bad thing.

    Reply
    • Yes, I agree Adam, ‘Happy’ is a very relative term, meaning different things to different people. Happiness to me is different to, say, joy, which I don’t always experience, but is nice to touch base with at times. Happy to me is more like contentment, meaning and connection in my blogging and relationships. I don’t worry about finding happiness or being happy, I’m happy being not joyful, I’m happy being melancholy as well, I’m content even when I’m down, because all I have to remember is that life is life, there are ups and downs, bend with the wind, roll with the punches, life goes on, I’ll feel better tomorrow so what is there to worry about? Nothing. So I agree, it’s okay to not be happy, because all is well. Thanks for your valuable viewpoints. Elaine

      Reply
    • My insight into depression comes from experience and a lot of time in quiet, undisturbed reflection, so in that way my loneliness has been an asset to me. I’ve spent a lot of time reading books from old greats in the personal development field like, “Think and Grow Rich,” by Napoleon Hill, “As A Man Thinketh” By James Allen, and several old books by Orison Swett Marden. Working hard to nurture a productive and hopeful outlook has been instrumental in my recovery and general contentment, it’s not been an easy road, but in my experience, the hardest parts of the journey are the parts I treasure most because I feel much stronger and more resilient than I used to be. No more do I fear the bad shit, because life just goes on. Adapt. Thanks Paul, have a great day, Elaine.

      Reply
  7. Thank you for the information on depression. My daughter has gone through it on and off in her life. She has come a long way, but I think that this information you have given could be very beneficial in helping her to keep on track. It seems she is fine and then something will happen in her life where she may start to slip. She will not take medication for it, but she is always looking for natural remedies especially since this is not ongoing every day, but once in awhile she knows when it is coming on. I am glad she is not embarrassed to ask for help and I am going to have her review your website. She is going to love this. Thank you for your help.

    Reply
  8. You’re an amazing person! 

    You’re awesome for writing this and awesome for overcoming everything you have! 

    I’m really glad I fell onto this, it brought tears to my eyes. I have a problem with depression, I don’t like the person who looks back at me in the mirror and reading the part when you said “what would you say to a friend who was hurting?” that really got me. 

    I hope everyone who feels down can reach your site because you’ve done an amazing job! 

    And to be quite honest with you, I don’t have any friends because I shut myself in. I have 3 kids which I homeschool so it makes it even harder for me to go out and have friends but I genuinely forget what it feels like to have a friend. 

    My mom is my best friend but other than her I don’t feel very comfortable around people for way too many reasons to list. 

    It’s one of my favorite reasons for being a part of the wealthy affiliate platform, you guys have become my friends, I feel comfortable here and I don’t feel unwanted. The WA community makes me feel like I have a ton of friends and it’s awesome because we’re friends from all over the world!

    Anyway, before I turn this comment into a blog, I just want to finish off by saying I loved your article and will be coming back to see more. 

    You have a wonderful soul ☺️

    I wish you all the best,

    Melissa

    Reply
    • It honestly brings tears to my eyes knowing my writing has helped someone who is hurting. It means that my hurting and overcoming has accomplished something, I am grateful and humbled for that. Thank you.

      I’m glad you are a part of the Wealthy Affiliate community, I’m glad I am too. The people around me in my life don’t really believe in this online business stuff, and it means so much to me that I can communicate with other dreaming and hopeful, positive, encouraging people. It touches a part of me that gets otherwise neglected. It is very good to associate with encouraging influences.

      I wish you the best too, and I hope you come back. Even I who wrote this article, enjoy coming back to read it to myself, lol. Warmest regards, Elaine

      Reply
  9. Elaine! Thank you very much. Your experience is encouraging. No doubt,

    this article will help millions of people out there who’s finding it hard to come out of this. I personally will share these strategies you’ve given with any depressed person around me. Thank you Elaine for helping us fight depression without stress. 

    Remain ever happy Elaine. 

    Moreover, that monkey has his way of putting smiles on someone’s face.

    Reply
  10. Hey, your Ideas For Depression and Loneliness are very useful for everyone. Your ideas gives me motivation to help everyone who is facing depression or loneliness in any way. Hard to feel depressed when you are taking actions to become a better person. Exercise of asking myself what would I say to my friend, if I would know she is feeling the way I feel, helps me every time. Your guide changed my thought process. 

    Reply
  11. The problem is, it seems most people who are suffering from depression don’t know they have it, they’re not aware. So, how can they find help with that?

    I salute you for being aware of your situation when you suffered from depression, and I hope people out there get on the right track you’ve been through. I can relate to you as I also suffered the same during my teenage years. It’s good thing that I was able to turn my life around. I also would like to thank you for these tips that you have shared, and if anyone is aware of their situation, these tips would certainly steer them over to the side of recovery.

    Reply
    • You’d be surprised how many people search all over the internet, how to deal with depression. It is an epidemic, and I have to say from my own experience, I know when I’m not happy. Sometimes it does take hearing from another person, and sometimes it takes time to realize, but many do ask for help on their own, it’s not uncommon at all. Hopefully some happen upon my article and that it cheers them up. Thanks, and cheers 🙂

      Reply
  12. Your are doing an awesome work for everyone like me. When I started reading from the beginning of your article, I could tell that you’ve gone through a lot and here you are educating and teaching people how to deal with depression. We can absolutely calm or reduce depression when engaging in things like watching videos on mindfulness, reading books on success stories and so forth. I hope everyone will enjoy your guide and stay away from depression

    Reply
    • Thank you. One thing I’ve learned is that telling myself to stay away from depression is a futile effort, as I cannot control where my mind drifts to. What is more useful to me would be better worded as “push away from depression,” or even simply, ‘change the subject.’. It’s difficult to feel bad about yourself when you are working to improve yourself, or helping someone else, so that why self-help and personal development topics are so important to me… they give me hope, they cheer me up as I’m too busy having ideas and dreaming about a better future.

      Reply

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