Fast Traffic for WordPress Pages

Hi readers, Elaine here.

Usually I write about mental wellness, growth, motivation, and inspiration from the heart, I hope you don’t mind me sharing about my efforts to make a living from home, and a method of fast WordPress traffic that is working for me.

My schizophrenia and PTSD have made maintaining work so incredibly hard. The times when I found work, I found the anxiety crippling… so after going to a new job for a few months even doing well, I would then literally freeze by overwhelming performance anxiety and mental stress. My body would shut down as my mind and emotions raced uncontrollably. I would then be fired for missing a shift too many.

It helped me a lot during these periods of unemployment that I had always a desire to work with computers, so in 2010 I succeeded in completing a 6 month college course in Web Design and Optimization, with the hopes of becoming self-employed.

I figured this would be ideal as I needed employment, yet also needed a truly understanding boss (myself lol) who wouldn’t permanently fire me if I needed a few mental health days.

Writing and helping people were passions of mine… so I gravitated towards blogging as my way of making a difference and hope of building a passive income.

Affiliate marketing… the practice of connecting buyers to online sellers, works well with blogging and social media, when done right.

I’ve found an easy to drive fast, significant traffic toward my blog. It really works.

For example: Yesterday evening I built a landing page for one of my new affiliate accounts, and applied the method, resulting in this traffic, literally overnight, on a non-established blog. Note the dates.

That happened within 12 hours through this simple WordPress Gravatar page: https://en.gravatar.com/va4u23

Believe it or not, this method uses a step-by-step application of automatic software.

You can easily use this method to increase traffic to your blog too.
Increase traffic to your blogs and affiliate offers with this traffic software. <<

If you would rather hire someone to help you with this, I’m available just get in touch with me though my freelancing page ebiz4u.pro

Or, outsource your tasks here >> https://va-4u.com

Please help me help others and so make a living by sharing this blog on your social media accounts.

Thank you so much, wishing success to you.

What I Believe Love is.

Love, from my perspective, is a holy spirit. It is pure caring, a connection. It is not lust, or obsession with a single person. Love touches all who believe in it.

One of my most vivid short memories as a young child took place in catechism, or church classes for children.

Although I was raised Catholic, I admit after actually reading the Bible as an adult my opinions changed, even more so after I started questioning dogmas and forming my own opinions, which I recommend everyone do; but keep yourself in check of morality and treating others the way you would like to be treated.

Back to this memory I was talking about: this single, simple-enough-for-small-children-to-understand teaching that came across my desk has long been an influence in my adult life.

Because of this snapshot in my memory, I have felt driven read many books and many, many, hours and years in silent reflection, is on this profound statement:

“God is Love.”

If you must have the biblical text reference that supports this statement, here it is:

1 John 4:7-8 – Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

I don’t know who or what you think God is. Personally, I don’t think it’s a diety, although on this plane, we have no way of really knowing. All are allowed to have opinions. It is my opinion that this is both profound and a complicated statement.

I’ll use a mathematical concept to compare and get you along my line of thinking:

God = Love
Love = Connection
Therefore God = Connection

In my opinion, Love is alive. It is spirit, it is the I AM: the conduit of negative space that permeates all matter, reaches through the vacuum, transmitted by prayers of the Spirit, within our own bodies and without, it is who you are, and who I am.

I AM what I AM describes one’s state of being, infinitely.

Love transcends gender, race, even species or genus… it is the Spirit through which exists a connection built with an understanding and a prayer. It defines us. Hence, as we reside in our earthly bodies, we connect by reaching out and in fullness, to Whomever you pray.

There is a power and purity in positive feelings, as to negative as well. As positivity builds, negativity removes. This is why one in a negative mindset, perhaps to say I am not… feels empty and alone, while one striving for potential in faith of I AM is fulfulled and not alone, as there is an understanding between that one and Spirit.

Over the past 12 years it has been my literal calling to be a beacon of Love and hope in a seemingly dark and despairing world, while encouraging others to do the same.

While I have traveled unknown paths and faced obstacles, and may have appeared to have not reached my destination yet; I am not a hypocrite, but I have faith.

Say there is a mountain you wish to stand on top of. If you can see yourself on top seeing the sights, and within your Spirit you believe you are there, start taking steps in that direction, resourcefully and with conviction, you will by all means make it to the top of that mountain.

This is the Secret to the Law of Attraction: Believe you are, resourcefully resolve to be, recognize and seize the opportunities to be, making it so you are, in due time.

I do not encourage Christianity, nor any religion for that matter.

What I do encourage is this: To anyone who loves, be a beacon. Encourage the ones without hope. Shelter the homeless. Feed the hungry. Do your thing that is positive in the world. For a light travels far in the darkness, and the light sends a message: I am here, for you, for your safety and refuge.

It is meant the same was as the candle in the window of a farmhouse that offers hope of refuge to the weary traveler, or as the lighthouse that guides a sailing vessel away from a treacherous coastline.

I don’t have to achieve a goal before encouraging others to join my journey.

The sun will rise again. New opportunities will undoubtedly arrive. Encourage others, seek truth, keep climbing, we’ll strive together.

“Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star. It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago. Maybe the star doesn’t even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything.” – Haruki Murakami

Know Yourself

I’ve heard it said that there are two types of people. Lions, and sheep. Leaders, and followers. Those who forge paths, and those who don’t think for themselves.

I can’t identify. Just as there are many different types of animals, spirit guides, and within each breed there are various unique personalities based on experiences. Not all predators are like lions, not all aim for the fresh kill… not all non-predators are peaceful. Each character is unique, the world is not black and white, people are like stones on a beach, widely varied, some plain, some beautiful, multitudinous color variations and combinations.

Bird-of-Prey Close Encounter

I had a powerfully moving experience when I was much younger… I was a 21 year old long-haul truck driver. As I was flying down the highway out in the middle of nowhere, I could see standing up on the shoulder of the highway were a couple of crows and a massive bald eagle. As my semi approached, the crows scattered, but the bald eagle decided to play chicken with my truck, flying at me head-on in attack mode!

It saw me… the driver, and singled me out, charged me, made eye contact… while I drove towards it at 65 mph. Its wingspan was wider than the truck, at least 7 feet wide. It realized last-second that it wouldn’t win the fight… his feathers all stood at attention and I literally faced the fear of death in that huge bird-of-prey’s eyes. His eyes were a goldenrod yellow color.

Neither of us would have won that battle had the eagle not delicately skimmed off of the air currents surrounding the truck and expertly avoided a head on collision. He would have gone through my windshield and I would have literally have been impaled by a full-grown bald eagle! I watched my driver’s side mirror in wonder as he sailed along air current gracefully wings vertical along the full length of my trailer, before flapping off into the sky.

What an impression he made on me. I will never forget the look on that eagle’s face, that “shitting-himself” fear was both the ugliest and most impressive sight I’ve witnessed in my whole life.

Facing my Reflection

Since then I’ve done a lot of pondering. A native warrior once told that peacemaker is my spirit name, and that color of that eagle’s eyes is my spirit color. I have to admit, that shade of goldenrod yellow is the only color that both calms me and inspires me to action.

What are the characteristics of an eagle. They mate for life, soar high above in search of opportunity, perch high up and observe quietly with keen eyes. They are agressive, yet restrained, intelligent, and picked on by other birds.

How like me. I am a one-man woman. Rarely talkative, but love to actively listen and understand before opening up to share. I seek opportunities and long for independence. A free spirit needing open horizons and personal choices. I love to travel, I enjoy the journey, adventure inspires me. Yet I require a lot of solitude and quiet time to understand my own thoughts and emotions. I am shy among peers, yet I stand out as a rare and caring personality.

According to 16Personalities.com personality test, I am “The Mediator”, introverted, intuitive, feeling, prospecting, turbulent, role diplomat, constant improvement is my strategy. Communications, customer service, advocate is my perfect career. As is truck driving. Both fitting.

Know yourself.

I recommend taking that test at 16personalities.com and reading through your results. Don’t think the world is black and white, there are way more than two choices in which to categorize yourself. Find your fit, find your freedom.

You don’t have to be a Lion or a Sheep. If someone tells you that those are your only two choices, they are bullying you into doing something they want you to do. Love yourself, be yourself, love life, forge or find the path that is your perfect fit.

How to Think Positive Thoughts


When it seems like everything is going crazy and those around you seem angry and discouraged, knowing how to think positive thoughts marks the difference between setting useful goals or giving up completely.

If you sometimes struggle with finding positivity or hope in a negative world, this article will teach you how to find the positive side of any tough situation.

Here I will discuss key concepts that allow me to stay happy and positive in even the most testing of circumstances.


Thinking positively in a world that seems negative takes work. We are born seeing possibilities, asking questions, setting goals; in other words, thinking positively comes naturally, yet many people find it elusive. Why?

What does it mean to think positively?

To fully understand, first we should consider the definitions of these two opposite words.

How to Think Positive Thoughts - Positive-Negative

Positive means to add, to a thing, person, or situation.

Negative means to remove, from a thing, person, or situation.

It seems sad to me that effectively fitting into society requires governance, our parents, teachers, and peers teach us that we can’t just do whatever we want. In fact, sometimes they do this so well that people have been taught to believe that we can’t do anything we want, and rules are never to be broken. That attitude of never questioning and only doing the expected can add to unfulfillment and unreached potential.


Fearful people teach us what can’t be done.

To function in life we are taught important but limiting lessons like:

  • Just do what you are told, I’m your parent, I know what’s best for you.
  • Don’t do something if there is danger.
  • Don’t speak when the adults are talking.
  • Be polite, don’t cause ripples, don’t offend people.
  • Don’t lose your money or things.
  • There are limits to what you can do.

There are important reasons for these lessons, they teach us how to get along with others, and how to survive.

The very same people who teach us what not to do, might also be positive influences, leaders, with your best interests at heart.


How to think positive thoughts - What do leaders do

Leaders show us what can be done.

The greatest appeal of a leader is that they DO stand out, they cause ripples, they question the status quo. For these very same reasons, leaders are hated by those who cherish their negativity.

True leaders are not afraid of hate. Leaders tend their “feathers” in a way waterfowl do… ducks preen their feathers with their body oils not only so they float, but that do not become saturated by cold water. Similarly, leaders make sure to tend their protective shield of positivity, so that hate does not extinguish their light. Hate rolls off of them “like water off of a duck’s back”.

This ability is not arrived at lightly. Often this protective layer of positivity took years of pain, hurting, and recovery to achieve. A thick skin is the often result of years of scarring. These positive people have chosen, and continually choose, to embrace hardships, to find a lesson in them, and build on them.

So instead of focusing on why we can’t do something, the positive person asks how can we do this?


How to stay positive when the world is so negative?

To help you with building your leader’s mindset, I’m going to discuss important several words and what they mean to me. These words I treasure, I tend to each of these to encourage growth in myself and others. This is a real insight into me and how I think, how I choose to think.

Patience – It’s impossible to be positive 100% of the time. While positive times are preferred, there are times when we are fearful, times when we may laugh at the folly of others, times when we may think badly of ourselves, times even that we hate ourselves or others. We need patience with ourselves and even our own thoughts. Nothing is permanent, all is temporary, let the negative pass and continue on to better times.

Balance – Not everything I do is right – but I try my best. It is human to be faulty, I’m not perfect, nor do I strive to be. I want to live life to it’s fullest and enjoy things I might not get the chance to later. At times, I allow myself to slip and even taste my dark side. These times help me know myself better, and help me cope with the injustice of some things not within my power. But I must remember balance. Time marches on, and how do I want to be remembered? I do strive to stay positive.

Love – Love is our essence, it is who we are, it is the connection between hearts, our connection to our ancestors and lost loves, the awareness of the divine.

Caring – Adding to, or protecting a person or thing. An action of positive intent.

Hope – Remembering all the times we have woken up from our dreams, gotten through hard times, and still survived. The belief that there will be more opportunities to wake up, and that we shall persevere.

Flexibility – Bend in the wind as reeds do, flex as the willows do. If we break, find a new way, start a new sprout. Accept uncertainty, adapt.

Resilience – We can not be positive when we stay angry at ourselves, at these times, our light dims, sometimes even goes out. That’s okay. We fall. We relight. It is the human condition. We learn to dust ourselves off before carrying on.

Kindness – The golden rule: Treat others how you yourself would want to be treated.

Beauty – Give time to appreciate the small things, they are in fact the most important things. Smell a flower. Protect nature. Live and let live. Pay respect to the awesomeness of the Universe and how small we really are in comparison. Life is not about making a living, but living. Do not allow earning income to rule your life. There are more important things, like everything.

Empathy – Try to look at the world through the eyes of others, to feel their pains, and their triumphs. It’s not all about me, or you. Of the billions of people, plants, and animals on this small blue planet, even from worlds we do not know, each of us has a point of view. Try to understand it.

Strength – We must be tested to become stronger. We must push, pull, resist, sweat, and even feel pain, if we are to improve health. An achievement of value does not come easy.

This is by far a non-exhaustive list of positive words I could talk about, but these are the most important ones to me which I chose to discuss. If you have any others you’d like to add, I’d love to see your thoughts in the comments!


How to think positive thoughts - lighthouse beaconStaying positive around negative people.

People are not inherently negative. The person you are thinking of as negative person is often a survivor who has learned negative lessons as results of their experiences of failure, danger, loss. They fear these things, and so, try to diminish these things from themselves or others. This can be completely well-intentioned.

The most negative people are the ones who SEEK to diminish others to make themselves feel bigger. These people are narcissists or gossips who make jokes of the difficulties of others. Bullies.

Trying to fight negativity with negativity, like hurling insults at a bully, becomes a self-defeating battle. You can’t force someone to be positive, better to shine as an example of light in dark places. Compliment these people, wish them well, pray for their healing. Choose to not believe their insults, you know better. Let it go.

If a bully is a danger to the safety of others, sometimes these people must be incarcerated or efficiently dealt with. This is a sad thing, a last resort, the best hope is for people to heal and grow, to be dealt patience.

I’ve heard positive thinking gurus say surround yourself by positive people, go-getters, people who have achieved what you wish to achieve, and I agree that seeking out these people sharing time with them is powerful.

It’s not that simple to just surround yourself with positive people. To remove yourself from household members or family who try to diminish you may or may not by practical. It takes a very strong resolve, and much patience, to maintain positivity around these people.


Make time away from negative influences.

It would be unhealthy to avoid ALL negativity. People with negative attitudes still need the influence of positive people for balance, as we need them, for balance.

A flame provides light and warmth, but a flame uncontrolled is destructive and can devastate many lives.

Do not fear negativity, but exert your inner strength to care for your flame, and also the flames of others.

For some powerful encouragement, watch this video by Robin Sharma.


In conclusion.

Light is not extinguished by darkness, rather enhanced by it; but it requires energy and protection to be maintained. To stay positive, continually seek opportunities to learn, grow, and increase your health.

Make sure you do your best to spend time with those who add to you, and when you cannot, find ways to nurture your own self. Love yourself. Protect your heart, but make sure it shines on those you care about.

Give time to nature, to openness, to beauty. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

You’ll live.

I really hope my article increased your understanding on how to face life courageously with more heart, while protecting your mental and emotional health from the pitfalls of life.

Do you have any tricks for keeping a productive mindset that wards off negativity? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

And please, share, to help others! The world needs this info right now!

Stay positive,

Elaine Nicol


I highly recommend this book: The Leader Who Had No Title – by Robin Sharma


Recommended article: Coping Ideas for Depression and Loneliness


How to Be Fulfilled in Life


How to be fulfilled in life is a matter of consistently putting in work to reach your highest aspirations.

The weird thing about it is that just attaining goals is not what you need to be fulfilled, although goal-setting is a huge part of it.

Owning beliefs that can make your dreams come true, and taking firm steps to do so, this is the secret to fulfillment.

It’s about the satisfaction that you are doing everything you can do to make your deepest desires materialize.

If you feel inadequate to reach your dreams, ask yourself, what is stopping me from trying?

Is it a lack of knowledge in a certain subject? So learn more. Get a tutor, or mentor. Take a course. Read a book.

Is lack of money stopping you from achieving your highest goal? The simple solution to this problem is:

Create a plan to make it happen. Let it be uniquely yours.


How to create a plan?

Write down your most treasured goal. Plan your steps backwards from there.

What do you have to accomplish in order to reach that goal?

Then, what do you have to do to accomplish that?

Keep asking yourself, what do I have to do to accomplish that?

If you continue to break down your steps in this manner, you will discover exactly what your next step must be.


You can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Do you believe in your abilities to do what you need to do?

I do.

It’s just a matter of setting your mind to it, then taking the next logical step.

Keep hope alive, nurture it.

Be open to learning something new. Find help when you need it, or study the biography of someone who has already achieved what you aspire to be or do.

What did they do to achieve your common goal?

You can do it, once you intend to do it.


Are you destined for something more?

Everyone has unique interests, and everyone has something uniquely inspiring to contribute to the world.

If you love crafting beer, craft beer! If you love your career, keep working. Love real estate investing? Gardening? Sports? Sailing? Welding? Business? Teaching children? Creative writing? Build on that.

Consider public speaking, blogging articles, and/or online lessons, so you can eventually retire on a passive income built by your own hard work, focused on something you love!

Teaching others how to take advantage of what most inspires you is a powerful way to build a legacy of change in the world, and building a legacy you can be proud of can be extremely fulfilling.


Taking control of your attitude is huge.

Most people these days are brought down by current events, why even pay attention to them?

Keep trying to stay positive and focused on your tasks.

Work on your legacy.

How do you want to be remembered? How do you want to impact the world?

Belief in yourself is everything.

Set yourself of the path of legendary. 


“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” ~ Cherokee proverb

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh.


Coping Ideas For Depression and Loneliness


Depression is made worse by loneliness, delivering a double-low-blow to someone who feels hurting and isolated. Here I will share with you effective coping skills for depression, and loneliness.

The ideas in this article have successfully helped me feel better after being struck by depressive thoughts.


Who am I to give advice on depression?

After developing a mental illness at age 23 at the onset of my pregnancy, I lost my CDL driver’s license and professional career as a commercial truck driver. Soon after my husband left me, and lost custody of my only child. The medication I require to maintain sanity causes weight gain, and over just a few years I gained over 200 pounds. I lived alone for over 10 years. For many of those years, I wasn’t even allowed have a cat because of tenancy rules.

I felt abandoned, despondent, very low, and desperately lonely.

Yes, I know depression well. She is a dear old friend.

I’ve learned how to deal with her successfully, and am usually now a pretty happy person. When I feel down, I know it’s not permanent, and I’ll be okay. I follow certain strategies to get myself back on track.

I’m here to share my strategies for finding joy in everyday life. Getting out of bed is a choice I make daily.

Peace and hopefulness are such better places in which to abide.


Be patient with yourself.

Getting angry at yourself for having a nasty thought about yourself – simply compounds emotional anguish. Give yourself permission to think dark thoughts as long as you don’t stay there. Practice bringing yourself back to more helpful thoughts.

Be mindful of your thoughts. Read books on mindfulness, positive mindset, good news stories, success, and learning in any market you are interested in can help you have a higher number of happy and hopeful thoughts that you can grab on to and use for the better.

Watch videos about it on YouTube. Practicing mindfulness will help you to accept your negative feelings and let them pass. It’s okay to slip up. You move on.

Hypnotherapy is helpful when trying to improve your outlook, particularly sessions on positive mindset, mindfulness, success, or any others that interest you. You can best listen to these audios in private, at rest. Binaural beats can also be helpful in bringing positive change to your mindset.

Never beat yourself up over any failure. Appreciate the experience, and treasure the lesson.

Failure is the best teacher ever!


self-careWhere you go, there you are.

Most people have a need to feel cared about… but would you be speaking truth if you said no one cares about you? In fact, having that worry itself proves that you care about yourself. The fact that you even found this web page proves that you really do care about yourself. Why not say it?

Self-care goes beyond taking care of your physical body. You need to let yourself know that you care.

It feels good when someone makes you your favorite tea, soup, or comfort food. Why not treat yourself?

Have you ever winked at yourself in the mirror? I recommend trying it today. Even better, do it with a smile!

The first time, this may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. It gets easier though. Look at yourself in the mirror, and while looking at yourself, tell yourself, out loud, the answers that you write in the following section…


What would you say to a friend who felt really low?

Write this question down, and answer it in writing.

“If someone you love is feeling depressed, sad, lonely, or suicidal, what would you say, and do, to encourage them?”

You might write, I care about you. Let me check on you every day, to see how you are doing.

You could say to your friend, I value you,” or My world is better because you are in it.

You’d say these things to someone you love. Why can’t you say them yourself?

The truth is, you can say these things to yourself.

Would you hold a hurting friend’s hand and give a consoling squeeze?

This’ll sound weird to you, and no one else will tell you this, but you can hold your own hand. I was very surprised when I figured this out, it’s actually really calming and comforting. You have two hands for this reason. Hey, why not?


Distract yourself. Do anything else.

Negative thoughts stuck in a rut that you can’t pull yourself out of?

Been told by family that you’ve been arguing in circles?

Do not underestimate the power of a fidget spinner!

Try one of these:

  • Play a video game.
  • Watch a TV show.
  • Reading a magazine.
  • Read a newspaper.
  • Start cleaning.
  • Have a cold shower.
  • Write down your thoughts.
  • Do some research.
  • Go fishing.

The list is inexhaustible. Do something you enjoy!

Here’s a great idea:


Let the sun shine on you!


strategies for dealing with depression

Exposure to sunlight releases chemicals in our bodies that makes us instantly feel better. From sunlight, we get increased levels of Serotonin, an excellent contributor to positive mental health.

It may be hard to get out of bed and get dressed, but do it anyhow. Get up, wash up, get dressed, and weather permitting, step outside, even when you don’t feel like it.

There is nothing more refreshing than fresh air while appreciating the beauty of nature.

So go outside. Look up. Feel the warm sensations of the sun lighting you up. Watch the sunrise. Talk to the wildlife. The crow might look at you like you are crazy, but the squirrel might strike up a conversation with you!

feel good

A squirrel looking back at you, chattering his fluffy tail off, is adorably cute.

Chatter back at him, and he’ll get in an argument with you! Look up, picture it!

I dare you not to smile!


Branch out to make friends.

Stop wondering why no one is calling you.

Join reading groups, sharing groups, walking groups, Toastmasters, groups with shared interests from Meetup.com, volunteer to help others, take on new jobs. These are all great ways of socializing.

Keep going, become familiar there. You might even make a new friend or two, and that is worth celebrating!

Check in with your friends to see how they are doing. They’ll appreciate it and do the same for you.

Do not allow all your happiness to rely on the actions of others.

Practice encouraging yourself using the above methods.


Don’t feel ashamed to ask for professional help.

Suffering social anxiety due to depression can cause you to feel paralyzed over social matters. It’s okay to ask for help.

Do people you know think getting help is not acceptable? Let that be their problem, not yours.

Call your local mental health or abuse crisis line. They exist for good reasons, and the counselors are glad to just be there for you, when you need someone to talk to.

You can use these help lines to self-refer yourself to a crisis stabilization unit (CSU) if you need more support than you can manage on your own.

The professionals at a CSU will help you set goals, plan strategies for dealing with challenges, and connect you to counselors and other community services, which can be used as excuses to socialize with positive people.

Who cares if they are paid to listen. They help!


Conclusion.

You are valuable. You are worthy of kindness. Treat yourself right. Nurture your self-love.

Treasure every moment in your life, and there are always more joyful times to come.

Each new day challenges you to get out of bed, make it worth it. Every day is a new adventure.

Life has ups and downs, and that’s awesome.

The amazing variety of sensations, interactions, ideas, colors, views, smells, flavors, and emotions that happen every-single-day are the little things to appreciate that make life worth living.



There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh.


Affiliate Disclosure: The links in this website may be “affiliate links.” This means if you buy something through the link, I receive an affiliate commission, at no additional cost to you. I recommend only products or services I believe will add value to my readers. Read full affiliate disclosure here.



Help For Paranoid Schizophrenia


How to get help for paranoid schizophrenia symptoms. The definition of psychosis is that the person has sensory experiences of things that do not exist and/or beliefs with no basis in reality.

This article contains basic instructions and resources for families, loved ones, and those afflicted with schizophrenia, schizophrenia with paranoia, and/or psychosis.


Empathy goes a long way.

If they hear voices or seeing things that you don’t hear or see, that doesn’t mean they are crazy or imagining it, they are literally experiencing a nightmare while awake. To the afflicted, these experiences are very real. They might still have a foot in reality while having the other foot in their dream, so don’t assume they are crazy, but they are experiencing symptoms of a brain illness.

How would you feel though you woke up from a dream and then were told, “There was no dream, you’re crazy. There’s nothing there!” Yet you saw your dream, touched things while you were there, smelled it, heard stuff, interacted with people in your dream. How would you feel if someone else told you that you were just crazy? Told you that you weren’t just there? Let me tell you how you’d feel, pretty insulted.

If a person suffers hearing voices, there are voices there, even though only they can hear them. Don’t call them crazy, just because they hear voices. To say there’s nothing there and they are crazy is nothing short of insulting to the person’s intelligence, and hurtful.


Get them to the doctor.

When the person hears voices or seeing things, it doesn’t mean there’s not still a sane person in there, even though they are being tormented by hallucinations. Ask if they are willing to get help, they very well might agree they need it. If the person agrees, get them to their doctor, or to the emergency room for a doctor on call, as soon as possible.

You might not realize this but there is a very high percentage of mentally ill people in mental hospitals that went there voluntarily, because they realized they needed help. It is always better for the person to cooperate and ask for help. Try giving them the opportunity to agree.


The afflicted refuses help? Call the police.

Living in a psychosis state is very dangerous to both the afflicted and to the people in their path. Try to talk the afflicted person into getting help. If they refuse help, you must protect yourself, your loved ones, and the public from a runaway mind, and call the police.

A person in a state of psychosis that doesn’t recognize they need help is like a person sleepwalking, but with their eyes open. They are dreaming things while awake, and cannot separate the two, they can’t tell the dream from the reality. These people are unpredictable, dangerous, and those who approach should be aware of this.

The afflicted must be kept safe in a controlled environment, like a mental hospital, or even jail, under strict supervision. Police can take them to the hospital, with cuffs on if necessary. There, professional psychiatric doctors and nurses can make sure that the person with the illness gets onto the proper anti-psychotic medications, and stabilizes, under supervision.


Learn all you can about living with the illness.

Did you know that 70% of people diagnosed with Schizophrenia, with proper treatment, medication, and emotional support, recover well enough to live completely normal lives?

Just because a person is mentally ill does not mean they are a lost cause. Healing is possible, even likely.

Explore search engines for crisis centers, crisis lines, support centers, family supports and employment or financial resources in your local area mental health resources, state/provincial mental health resources, and also national mental health resources.

Online Resources:


Conclusion

It is not easy to support someone with Schizophrenia. It is a hard illness to deal with. As a loved one of someone with Schizophrenia, you probably need encouragement yourself. You yourself might feel hopeless, but it is not hopeless. Healing is possible. It takes time. Talking to someone helps. Call a mental health crisis line. Tell them what you are going through.

The person suffering has been told by people that they are crazy, hopeless, and imagining things. They might even believe it. They may never have hurt anyone in their entire lives, yet they have been shamed. Be supporting, encourage them, help them find hope in healing, as with treatment, they will once again learn how to sort out their scattered thoughts.

There is no shame in loving someone with a mental illness.  The person suffering an illness is still valuable and deserves the chance to heal. Be a beacon of hope, patience and support.


Books For Family:


Books For People Recovering from Schizophrenia


How to self help for depression


Here I share successful strategies helping you learn how to self-help for depression by taking charge of the process of recovering from the personal, social, and illness aspects of your depression.

Have faith in your recovery, and the rewarding life following recovery. You got this!


Practice Cognitive Behavioral Therapies (CBT).

CBT are practices that help empower you to take command of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. With more experience you can learn to be more mindful of your thoughts, and more importantly, how you tend to react to your thoughts.

You can stop being angry or disappointed with yourself (or others), as you practice different techniques to switch to more productive trains of thought, practice calming yourself and letting negative thoughts pass.

Learn CBT by studying ‘The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Workbook and Tools e-book‘, and begin to implement more positive strategies for feeling better.


Take care of your nutrition.

Sometimes depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your body. That doesn’t mean that anti-depressant medications are the best solution though. Western medicine pushes pills which often have negative side effects like:

  • Nausea
  • Increased appetite and weight gain
  • Loss of sexual desire and other sexual problems, such as erectile dysfunction and decreased orgasm
  • Fatigue and drowsiness
  • Insomnia
  • Acne and Skin Irritation
  • Dry mouth
  • Blurred vision
  • Constipation
  • Dizziness
  • Agitation
  • Irritability
  • Anxiety

The average North American diet usually lacks dozens of minerals and nutrients. Yet depression levels in the Mediterranean are considerably well below those in northern Europe and America. Why? Because of their diet!

Consider learning about Mediterranean ways of living, and how to eat your way to a happy, healthy life!

More info and recipes available here.


Get sunlight every chance you can.

Staying in a dark room might feel like a solution to negative feelings, but chemically, a lack of sunlight will literally fuel your depression, making it worse.

Even though your first inclination in response to a fear of the outside world may be to stay bed, this kind of escape will not help you feel happier. So get out and play.


Drink water and exercise.

Physical activity like house cleaning and getting regular exercise are an important part of living a healthy life, for anyone. If you suffer from depression, it is likely that you are not getting enough physical activity.

Drinking enough water and working up a sweat helps get toxins out of your system, improve blood flow that pumps oxygen to the brain, as well as releases a bunch of hormones that make you feel better.

Taking up yard work, gardening, or exercising outside in the open air are great ways to combine this part of your recovery with getting the sunlight and fresh air you need.

Make this a part of your life, and you can definitely expect a speedy improvement in your state of mind.


Learn to FORGIVE yourself.

Personal recovery is about acceptance and regaining purpose and meaning in life as you come to terms with your depression.

Be gentle with yourself. You can aim for excellence while not expecting perfection from yourself. Remember the old saying, ‘To err is human’. It refers to the nature of people, all human beings make mistakes. Aim to try your best, but to forgive yourself for occasional ‘recovery’ days and slip ups.

Try treating yourself as you treat others: Wink at yourself in the mirror, smile at yourself as if greeting a beloved friend. You can even go as far as looking at yourself in the mirror, and saying to yourself, “I love you!” Do not underestimate the power of this! Love yourself as you are, as you love others.

You are a valuable human being with a lot to offer the world, imperfections and all. Love yourself. Own your imperfections, ROCK THEM.


Your actions are your responsibility, others have their own.

Be the person you want to be, not what others expect you to be, nor expect them to be who you want them to be.

I’m not talking about the necessity of care-giving for children. Accountability is very important when it comes to provision of love, physical needs, or the safety of children, by one source or another.

That said: You can not justify the control or containment of any person. You can only take full responsibility for your own actions at any time.

Humans are social animals by nature. When we feel secluded, rejected, or abandoned, depression can take over.

People often put a lot of meaning into relationships, more than is sometimes fair for the other. Each person needs to remember that relying on another for your happiness is unhealthy. Healthy, respectful relationships that allow individual freedoms to flourish are rewarding in love and trust.

In other words, you can take care of yourself. Don’t expect it of others. You will be rewarded.


Help others, do something to make a difference.

As you learn to help yourself, why not try to make the world a better place for others?

Discovering and living out real purpose here on this planet is a powerful way to feel better about yourself.

Please check out this article I wrote just the other day, How to find peace of mind, which emphasizes the importance of purpose in your life.

Employment at a job, volunteering your time, to build a business, or write a blog that teaches your expertise on a subject are all potential ways to help other people. Start today.


Get the outside support you need.

As you are not perfect, I can’t promise you that you have the ability to pull yourself out. There may only be so far you can go to treat your depression by yourself.

Living a safe, full, and dignified life in the community with appropriate supports and services is an important part of recovery for most people.

Look up mental health services and crisis support lines in your area. There should be no shame in asking your doctor for a referral to a licensed psychiatrist if you are struggling too hard and too often with your life. Mental health services exist because the people who need and use them are valuable individual people who needed a hand up from either:

  1. a disadvantaged situation; or
  2. a health condition that involves their physical brain and/or nervous system.

Pharmaceutical medication may be the best solution on a temporary basis, please don’t rule it out as a possible part of your treatment. It may just give you the physical boost you may need to get back onto your feet and begin supporting yourself again.


Conclusion.

For more inspiration to assist you in your recovery, please consider purchasing the ‘Destroy Depression System’ from James Gordon. He is a former depression and PTSD sufferer; he teaches a natural 7-step process which he used to conquer his own depression, without medication.

Self-management, stress management, support groups, meditation or yoga, as well as pharmaceutical medication are all important things to be considered when depression becomes a barrier to success in your life.

Wishing you a speedy recovery,

Elaine


Recommended books:


Affiliate Disclosure: Some links in this website are “affiliate links.” This means if you buy something through my page, I’ll receive an affiliate commission at no additional cost to you. I recommend only products and services I believe will add value to my readers. Read full affiliate disclosure here.


What is the purpose of my life?


If you struggle to understand your purpose or why you are here, you’re in good company.  This article was composed to help you answer, ‘what is the purpose of my life?’

My keyword research software tells me that over 7,900 people ask Google every single month, ‘What is the purpose of life’, while over 12,000 people search, ‘What is the meaning of life?’. Every month. These numbers show just how much despondency flourishes in today’s world; and due to our ways of life, it’s understandable. Emotional illnesses like depression and anxiety are in pandemic proportion.

The environmental desperation we see, materialism, and extremes between the rich 1% and the working poor, leave all of us wondering, “Will my children and grandchildren live fulfilling lives? will they even have a world to grow up in? Will they grow up feeling as despondent as I am feeling right now?” These are the questions that haunt people.

Hopefully this article reminds us to do what we can do, appreciate what we have, go for what we want, and simply get the most out of life.


Being the best at…

People dream about being #1. We idolize the best singers, the best athletes, the richest business owners, and the most beautiful actors.

The ‘hard-knocks’ background stories of competitors in ‘Got Talent’ competitions remind the world that normal people can be champions, it’s about hope. We wish the best for someone, being the one in millions, congratulate them for winning the lottery. We strive to try to cheer these people on… to find these people inspiring; to live vicariously, wishing we were them, because they won, even though we didn’t.

The problem with putting hopes in the lottery is that it seems to be a literal admission and reminder that we aren’t happy with life as it stands. We pray to get what we want without work; and because we are depressed, we don’t bother working for it. We’ve given up trying; except to buy that lottery ticket.


Optimism vs. Pessimism.

I don’t buy lottery tickets. Not because I don’t believe i have as much chance as anyone else, but because the thought of a sudden huge windfall that I did not earn, simply doesn’t motivate me, or even appeal to me for that matter.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have the money to buy a house of my own, a car, to complete and win in a singing competition, to not worry about being hungry.

At the far left of the spectrum, unbalanced pessimists believe you have no chance so why have hope for anything you wish for? At the far right of the spectrum, unbalanced optimists set themselves up for humiliation, because they try too hard to win at long shots, and often fail.

Allow me to share my views on this: I see beauty in the bitter-sweetness of life; the losses and the triumphs, the lows and the highs. Don’t get me wrong, I’d enjoy wealth, but if I didn’t earn it, I would worry more about losing it. I would also have not earned respect from my network. There is reason for my journey. So I will continue working hard on increasing knowledge of not only wealth but health and how to make more of a difference in the lives of other people, reminding myself that money is not the meaning of life. Achieving financial freedom will not end of my journey, or even be the highlight of my life. Money is no more than a tool. Making it the reason for my journey will result in me losing my motivation, because it’s simply not worth living for.

This is my kind of realism.


Nothing is permanent.

What comes, passes. The nature of our collective reality on this earth is that all things pass and are lost to time. Riches come and go, fame comes and goes, health comes and goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. High achievers are not necessarily destined for happiness.

If you rely on reaching that peak for your happiness, you will be hit hard afterward. When you reach that metaphorical peak, the view is grand… but where do you go from there? The only way is down. Do you want to survive another valley? What if you were to lose everything you worked for?

Material wealth amplifies what we are. If we are already happy before we become rich, money increases our happiness. If we are miserable before money, more money will make us more miserable. Think about it… if we distrust people before we become rich, imagine if you do become rich… you will be constantly suspicious not knowing who your real friends are… there is always another valley to face.

We must try to learn from the past, but not dwell there. Plan for the future, but don’t dwell there either. Wherever you go, there you are.

Don’t worry about what bad may come, because it will pass. Don’t exalt in what good comes, because you are bound to lose it. Appreciate what you have, take care of it, and teach others to take care as well.


 

What lifts you?

True happiness can be taught, to those who care to listen. It is something we do. It has nothing to do with money.

Money is not security. Money can not bring someone you love back from death, or cure a terminal illness. The best security for a family is spiritual wealth. To provide spiritual wealth for one’s family means to equip them to survive, even thrive, in spite of any loss.

The ability to deal with change, the thirst for knowledge, a strong work ethic, resiliency, willingness to give help, willingness to accept help, network building skills… these are good examples of spiritual wealth.

I think the point of life is to learn how to be happy with your life in despite your level of accumulation of have material wealth.


But this post was about purpose! What is my purpose?

The previous parts of this article discuss the necessary background to better understand our purpose.

Straightly put, I believe the purpose of anyone’s life is learning to spend spiritual wealth well.

To earn and to increase:

  • A heart full of love for yourself and others.
  • Your appreciation of life through the eyes of others.
  • Evidence that you shared and used your knowledge.
  • The collective wealth of the world around you.
  • A network of appreciative hearts with fond memories of you.

The world is better for having you in it. If you do these things, your life has purpose.

The love you share with others, the knowledge of whether you left the world better or worse than you found it; these things you carry with you after you die, the same you leave behind.

Hope this helps,

Elaine Nicol


“We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths;

In feelings, not in figures on a dial.

We should count time by heart-throbs. He most lives

Who thinks most—feels the noblest—acts the best.”

~ Philip James Bailey, Festus, 1839


 “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” ~ Cherokee proverb


 Powerfully inspiring books by a man driven to teach genius and personal mastery: Robin Sharma.

Access his podcasts and online courses here.


Another recommended book:


Affiliate Disclosure: The links in this post may be “affiliate links.” This means if you buy something through the link, I receive an affiliate commission, at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products or services I believe will add value to my readers. Read full affiliate disclosure here.


How to find peace of mind


One of the most important things to learn for how to deal with depression or anxiety is how to find peace of the mind.

Peace of mind is achieved though patience, flexibility, forgiveness, and dealing with change positively. Learning and implementing what you learn from this article will help you heal from a troubled mind.


Accept change, make changes

Anyone who has been to A.A. knows the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Although I am not a religious person; I still love this prayer.

Whatever your religious or spiritual views, serenity and courage can be found within.

Each of us has spiritual place within, or above, themselves, where wisdom above conventional thought can be accessed. This “Higher intelligence”, which some would call God, or Spirit, or ‘That which connects all things’, is accessed in a state of serenity, and can be felt, tangibly.

Serenity is accessed by utilizing enough patience to listen to our thoughts and feelings, and with wisdom, to observe unobjectively, and let go of that which is not within our power.

Courage to act with wisdom is accessed by listening to all inputs, and acting in a productive and positive way which helps you recover, to a greater good that helps others as well.


Allow to continue that which you have no ability to change, so let go of any resentment that afflicts you. This is serenity.

Change that which afflicts harm to you or others, emotional, spiritual, or physical, with every resource you have within. This is courage.

Listen to the higher thoughts that can only be accessed in silence. This is wisdom.


Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.

Perhaps you feel that you have been robbed of peace in your life. I will tell you now that that is hogwash, as peace can be found in even the most terrible circumstances. It is within your control.

Peace is a mindset. It is the ability to calm yourself and those around you in a non-violent way.

When you blame others for how you feel, you are saying, simply, that your thoughts and feelings are not your own. You are saying they have more power over your thoughts and impulses than you do.

Wisdom says otherwise.


Forgive yourself, forgive others.

Every single living being on this earth is living a life from their own perspective, seeing the world through their own eyes, feeling things with their own hands, and carrying their own lessons and experiences.

The intentions of others can be mysterious… how do you get into someone else’s mind? The fact is, you cannot truly know someone unless you have been where they have been, what lessons they have learned, and what is important to them.

When someone else hurts you, they are often acting out of hurt themselves, and in my opinion, the world would be made better by healing and grace, as opposed affixing blame or hurting them back as a knee-jerk reaction.

Why be angry at people who hurt you, when the solution to your hurt is within your power? Basically if you allow yourself to continue hurting, then no longer are they hurting you, but you are hurting yourself. How is that healthy?

You have the power within to release hurtful feelings like anger, by practicing the serenity, courage, and wisdom that I discussed earlier. Let go of what you cannot change. Change what you can. Know the difference.


Use a healthy outlet for outstanding anger or frustrations.

I understand that forgiving yourself and forgiving others sounds simplistic and is sometimes easier said than done.

Anger is a very real experience, and there are dangers of suppressing it. Suppressed anger is widely accepted to be a cause of anxiety and depression, increased chance of heart disease, greater risk of stroke, and a weakened immune system.

So, it is important to release anger; but how do you release it productively??

In the larger picture, taking anger out on others causes more issues than it solves. When troubled by anger and finding peace within seems elusive, finding a different physical outlet or a demonstration of your emotional frustrations can help you recover gracefully.

Here are some ideas for ways to positively work out pent-up anger, rage, resentment, or frustration:

  • Watch funny videos, laugh out loud, write bad jokes.
  • Walk, run, lift weights, yoga, Tai chi, Kung Fu, kickboxing, bowling, golf, or participate in group sports.
  • Focus on slow breathing techniques.
  • Practice relaxing muscles groups progressively.
  • Allow your thoughts, feelings, and sensations to come and pass. Simply observe.
  • Talk it out with a therapist or counselor.
  • Relax in hot bath.
  • Play with a stress-relief toy.
  • Listen to soothing music.
  • Do something nice for yourself (i.e. go to the spa, buy yourself a gift, go to a movie).
  • Create an artistic expression of your state of mind.
  • Creatively write to express your thoughts and feelings.

This list is non-exclusive, as I’m sure there are plenty of great solutions out there for making yourself feel better in productive ways.

Please share your ideas and help others by leaving a comment at the bottom of this post!


Adopting the attributes of flexibility and resilience.

Recovering from a damaged mind/spirit is difficult if you refuse to cultivate flexibility and resilience in your life.

These are learned attributes, achieved by opening your mind to new potential, and getting back up every single time you are knocked down.

As you always have. Keep on keeping on!

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” ~ Napoleon Hill

So CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE that:

You can feel better about your life, mind, and heart.

Your light can shine brightly to help guide others.

You are a valuable contributor to this world.

You make the world more beautiful just by existing!

Written with love,

~ Elaine


Recommended books:


Affiliate Disclosure: The links in this post are “affiliate links.” This means if you buy something through the link, I receive an affiliate commission, at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products or services I believe will add value to my readers. Read full affiliate disclosure here.